I love wild swimming. B isn’t sure. When it’s hot, particularly, all I want is to get her down to the beach but I’ve come to realise she’s right to be nervous…

I started out, as many people did, during the Covid-19 pandemic when B was about 6. I had the glorious revelation that it was ok to wear a wetsuit if it felt too cold. Suddenly I found what had seemed impossible, accessible, and it quickly became one of my favourite things to do.

B is not so sure. Initially I found this bewildering. She loves swimming and swimming pools are one of her favourite places to be. Now I’ve realised that she’s right and I’m wrong.

As a grown up adult with fifty years of experience it’s hard to remember what the sea is like for a child. For me it’s a wonderful place to explore nature and get away from the daily grind. For her it’s big, scary and often uncomfortable. She gets cross with sand and is scared of jelly fish. She doesn’t like the changing and the changing again. As she gets older all these feelings increase.

But she CAN have the best time ever on a beach. We’ve learnt to wiggle up to it and take each day as it comes. I don’t push her anymore. Here are some thoughts…

The safety thing

The more I swim in the sea, the more I’m aware of the dangers and how real they are. As with everything in nature, this is not a reason not to do it but it is so important to learn as much as you can about what you’re literally wading into. I’ve got ill from river pollution (the only time I ever swam in a river) and am constantly battling tides and currents and I’m a very cautious, local swimmer. B is absolutely right to look at the sea and not be sure going into it is a good idea.

We head to beaches we know, with tides and currents we’ve tracked for years and keep an eye out for updates and changes. We always go when there are lots of people about and, ideally, lifeguards. We read the information put up for swimmers. We also keep an ear out for pollution warnings. I try not to alarm B too much on any of these things, because she’s already nervous, but we talk about tides and currents and when we’re in the water we look for what’s going on underneath.

Making it a game

I’ve come to realise that actually the tides, the currents, the jelly fish are all the reasons WHY B is actually going to be interested. They’re all great to play with and observe. If there’s a current we’ll go and test it, by putting something in it and seeing where it goes. We’ll test ourselves (safely) against it and watch what happens to other people doing the same thing. We talk it about it a lot.

Where we camp there’s a river with a strong pull. At low tide you can wade across it. At high tide you can’t paddleboard across it easily. If you try, you can find yourself somewhere else. We’ve asked others how they’ve found it, and tested it when the tide is half way up and you can get off and stand up.

The jelly fish are trickier to tackle. They’re mostly a spring thing I think round us. If they’re on the beach, B is not going in far. They don’t sting a lot but she’s not risking it. If they’re not, we can play ‘run from the jellyfish’ with a bit of seaweed on the incoming tide.

Tides are fabulous. We have big tidal ranges near us and you have to read them right. Otherwise you turn up at a beach with no beach or a muddy stony plain with no water. We build sandcastles as they’re coming in, so the water fills the moat before knocking it over. Even better, try writing or drawing in the sand at the tide line as it’s coming in, and see if you can finish it and how long it takes for the tide to wash it away.

Showing the possibilities

The one thing that’s certain is, whatever I want to do in or near the water, B will probably want to do something different. What we do do is explore together all the things you CAN do. It took me ages to realise that kids don’t actually know these instinctively. Over the years we’ve:

• Jumped over the waves
• Run away from the waves
• Pulled B around on a board
• Searched for the best seaweed
• Looked for crabs
• Found shells
• Explored rockpools
• Got stuck in sink sand
• Explored little beaches
• Made dams
• Made boats
• Made a fairy jacuzzi

On the beach we’ve

• built makka pakka towers,
• skimmed stones,
• built sand castles,
• stood on sand worm coils,
• damned up rivers
• explored driftwood
• Chased footprints
• Drawn in the sand

We’ve had some truly amazing days at the beach and in the sea. My favourite is pulling B along on a paddleboard. It gives her a safe place to get away if she see’s seen a jelly fish, and she can observe and discover more about the water she’s on, in a safe way.

Equipment

I’ve also realised that my initial delight in discovering wetsuits was well founded. Ironically we hardly touch them these days but for years wetsuits and water shoes were carried to every beach we went too. The water shoes still are (and are indispensable). They just help to make the environment more hospitable and friendly. They can always be taken off, or not worn, and we have shorter and longer versions of wetsuits depending on the season. They’ve taught me that going in the sea doesn’t need to be a test of hardiness but can be made easier and more enjoyable with a few practicalities.

Finally, the waves issue

My FAVOURITE thing to do in the sea is, on a windy day, to jump over the waves. It’s like the wave machine at a leisure centre only scarier and bigger and less predictable and it doesn’t stop. It doesn’t work for B. The sea waves are only the right height for her where they crash on the ground and the force of that is scary. If she goes beyond them it’s too deep. I’m looking forward to her getting tall enough to enjoy it too. In the meantime I’m focusing on making sure she understands the sea, understands what she doesn’t understand and isn’t scared. Hopefully the rest will come.

For more ideas on playing on the beach check out 10 ways to play on the beach in spring.